To a room full of quiet appreciation and a dizzying flickering glitterball, Aly Spaltro took to the stage in total darkness. Anticipation to hear songs from her debut album Ripely Pine was the reason for the busy little crowd. Singing into the void with her opener Up In the Rafters; this opener was not an indication of how the set would turn out!
Bang! Straight into Bird Balloons. A song so utterly crazy with a ridiculous time sequence. Songs such as Aubergine and Hair to the Ferris Wheel shone out. The use of a drummer to assist was extremely welcome; and added some welcome oomph to the punchier numbers. The drummer wasn't always present; disappearing while some of the softer numbers in the set like Little Brother were played out.
Really though it is tracks like You Are The Apple and The Nothing Part Two which is the main reason why there is such a packed little crowd in this corner of East London. With the finale Crane Your Neck hitting all the right notes, Lady Lamb left you wanting more. She heads back to her homeland in the States tomorrow; but there is no doubt that she'll be back.
Thursday 31 October 2013
Lee Thompson's Ska Orchestra- St Albans Arena. Friday 3rd October 2013.
It wasn't so much a gig, more like a family party.
The St Albans Arena was not even a quarter full on Friday evening; but those who were in attendance; were either hardcore fans or relatives. Which made for an intriguing spectacle.
The Lee Thompson Ska Orchestra appeared on stage to around two hunded and fifty people; you could eavesdrop on every conversation in the room. In between songs the banter was rude and crude. Thompson is an entertainer; bouncing across the stage from left to right; saxophone in hand, cajoling and interacting with audience and his own band.
The songs were all from Lee Thompson's latest incarnation of solo work aside from Madness. The Benvolence of Sister Mary Ignatius has been a widely received album; and on the whole reviews have been quite complimentary. Ticket sales on the other hand have been poor; and for an eight piece band selling two hundred and fifty tickets for a show; the profits may just about have covered the last train home.
"We are a real proper band"; says Thompson as the set winds through. And as each track hit the spot, I loved it.
The St Albans Arena was not even a quarter full on Friday evening; but those who were in attendance; were either hardcore fans or relatives. Which made for an intriguing spectacle.
The Lee Thompson Ska Orchestra appeared on stage to around two hunded and fifty people; you could eavesdrop on every conversation in the room. In between songs the banter was rude and crude. Thompson is an entertainer; bouncing across the stage from left to right; saxophone in hand, cajoling and interacting with audience and his own band.
The songs were all from Lee Thompson's latest incarnation of solo work aside from Madness. The Benvolence of Sister Mary Ignatius has been a widely received album; and on the whole reviews have been quite complimentary. Ticket sales on the other hand have been poor; and for an eight piece band selling two hundred and fifty tickets for a show; the profits may just about have covered the last train home.
"We are a real proper band"; says Thompson as the set winds through. And as each track hit the spot, I loved it.
Tuesday 17 September 2013
Dear Lily...
Dear Lily,
I cannot remember why I clicked "follow" on your Twitter account. I cannot remember the first time I replied to one of your tweets. All I remember was that it was about three years ago; you were called @IamLilythePink and you had the word efficacious in your biography!
What I didn't realise at the time was how much of an influence on me you were going to have over the next three years; indeed, how much of a positive and precious impact upon my life you would have.
In the beginning we shared so many jokes about all sorts of topics (to be honest I was never as witty or as quick on the draw as you were!). It took me a while before I actually felt like I could confide in you about certain events in my life; I think it was a series of messages about one of your impending trips to the "Tail Shop" where I realised suddenly how important you were to me. I found myself worried; and I think you sensed that.
The Venn Diagram which makes up my Twitter is comprised of the following six circles: a) People who can help me in some way. b) People who I can interact with about any topic. c) People who I feel I can confide in. d) People who made me smile and laugh. e) People who are caring and thoughtful and f) People with strong self-efficacy(!). You appear in all six circles!
Through the different incarnations of your Twittering I have always looked out for your name. This may sound silly, but I rarely ever re-tweeted you. This was totally on purpose. The reason for this was because I never wanted anyone else to find you and follow you! (a bit like when you find a really cool underground band and then see them promoted to stardom!) However, from just glancing at my timeline and the endearing messages left for you over the last day or two confirms that you were already a bona-fide superstar!
I hope you understand how much those messages you sent to me meant. Like the DM you sent me out of the blue on Christmas Day; or the time you sent me a thoughtful "just thinking of you" message when I hadn't logged on for a week when I was completely under the weather. You knew exactly how I was feeling at that precise moment in time. I cannot thank you enough for that. I will never forget those gentle acts of kindness. (I still have the card you wrote me; safely tucked away).
I do wish to write something like this for each one of the tremendous people I follow. There are some calm, collected, beautiful souls on Twitter; and you, Super Lily are one of them. Continuing to beam ever so brightly!
I will miss you so much on Twitter. There will be a Lily shaped gap in my timeline now. You have made me laugh and cry and I feel completely safe when talking to you. I feel like I have shared so many different aspects of my life; through highs and lows and joy and pain (and no, I'm not just talking about Manchester United matches!). Whenever I have had to "offload" about personal things like grief and loss and even job stress; you have been there for me, and have been so supportive. I still go back to read your blog from time to time. The recent entry about the swans is so beautiful.
I wish you (and DH and the cats) so much joy, good health, peace and happiness for the future.
Love, Rich @foxyinthebox
ps. Whenever I hear "this" song, I always think of you! And it always makes me smile!
I cannot remember why I clicked "follow" on your Twitter account. I cannot remember the first time I replied to one of your tweets. All I remember was that it was about three years ago; you were called @IamLilythePink and you had the word efficacious in your biography!
What I didn't realise at the time was how much of an influence on me you were going to have over the next three years; indeed, how much of a positive and precious impact upon my life you would have.
In the beginning we shared so many jokes about all sorts of topics (to be honest I was never as witty or as quick on the draw as you were!). It took me a while before I actually felt like I could confide in you about certain events in my life; I think it was a series of messages about one of your impending trips to the "Tail Shop" where I realised suddenly how important you were to me. I found myself worried; and I think you sensed that.
The Venn Diagram which makes up my Twitter is comprised of the following six circles: a) People who can help me in some way. b) People who I can interact with about any topic. c) People who I feel I can confide in. d) People who made me smile and laugh. e) People who are caring and thoughtful and f) People with strong self-efficacy(!). You appear in all six circles!
Through the different incarnations of your Twittering I have always looked out for your name. This may sound silly, but I rarely ever re-tweeted you. This was totally on purpose. The reason for this was because I never wanted anyone else to find you and follow you! (a bit like when you find a really cool underground band and then see them promoted to stardom!) However, from just glancing at my timeline and the endearing messages left for you over the last day or two confirms that you were already a bona-fide superstar!
I hope you understand how much those messages you sent to me meant. Like the DM you sent me out of the blue on Christmas Day; or the time you sent me a thoughtful "just thinking of you" message when I hadn't logged on for a week when I was completely under the weather. You knew exactly how I was feeling at that precise moment in time. I cannot thank you enough for that. I will never forget those gentle acts of kindness. (I still have the card you wrote me; safely tucked away).
I do wish to write something like this for each one of the tremendous people I follow. There are some calm, collected, beautiful souls on Twitter; and you, Super Lily are one of them. Continuing to beam ever so brightly!
I will miss you so much on Twitter. There will be a Lily shaped gap in my timeline now. You have made me laugh and cry and I feel completely safe when talking to you. I feel like I have shared so many different aspects of my life; through highs and lows and joy and pain (and no, I'm not just talking about Manchester United matches!). Whenever I have had to "offload" about personal things like grief and loss and even job stress; you have been there for me, and have been so supportive. I still go back to read your blog from time to time. The recent entry about the swans is so beautiful.
I wish you (and DH and the cats) so much joy, good health, peace and happiness for the future.
Love, Rich @foxyinthebox
ps. Whenever I hear "this" song, I always think of you! And it always makes me smile!
Wednesday 28 August 2013
David Byrne and St Vincent: The Roundhouse, London. Tuesday 27th August 2013.
The Roundhouse was the place. David Byrne and St Vincent and their eight piece brass band was the show.
Byrne made an unseen announcement to the crowd ten minutes beforehand: "Please can you keep all filming to a minimum so as not to spoil the enjoyment of others". Boom! There was a rousing round of applause before they were even on stage.
The band entered one by one, followed by the protagonists; and the audience hushed in anticipation. They launched straight into two tracks from the recent collaborative album Love this Giant: Who and Weekend In the Dust. Both tracks highlight exquisitely the skill of all band members.
Annie Clark (aka St Vincent) and her trademark stage shuffle treated us to some of her own tracks; the impressive Save Me From What I Want and the beguiling Marrow being two of her early highlights in the set.
Following the band introductions; including a pause to tell you what you should buy from the merchandise stall; was the song and performance of the night. Wild Wild Life, of the Talking Heads album True Stories; stood out head and shoulders above all others. Each band member took turns on the microphone conga style to sing a line of the song. I looked around in the crowd to see a complete sea of bobbing heads and grinning faces.
The choreography was visually quite beautiful throughout. Everyone on stage shifted from song to song. So much direction; so much dancing, so much arrangement and so much action on stage for the audience to watch. Personally, I couldn't work out how the guy with the sousaphone was able to dance and play at the same time. All band members had their own personalities; I didn't know where to look. One couldn't help but copy the dancing on stage. It was a little bit like Simon* (*David Byrne) Says!
Alongside many of the Love This Giant tracks; Byrne (dressed strikingly all in white) did reach into the Talking Heads back catalogue; This Must Be The Place and Burning Down the House proving hugely popular in the arena. The forgotten solo dance gem, Lazy; was also played to surprised "oh, of course, I remember that!" faces.
There were two encores to this show; including fantastic St Vincent renditions of Northern Lights (complete with Byrne karate kicking towards a theremin!) and a beautiful haunting version of The Party. The final Talking Heads singalong Road to Nowhere was a reminder to everyone at the show how much of a privilege being in attendance at The Roundhouse really was. No one was filming this on a camera; as David advised us all not to. We all had taken this in with our own eyes and ears, like humans do.
There are't many occasions where two superb musicians can team up and put on a show like this. The Byrne/Clark Love This Giant partnership is one of pure joy. Plus, they know how to entertain; as David Byrne wailed during one song in particular to the adoring audience: "I know that's the way you like it, whoah, living wild wild life".
Wednesday 24 July 2013
White Lies. Hoxton Square Bar and Kitchen. 23rd July 2013
In a tiny room in the East End of London, White Lies took to the stage; five years on since their debut performance at the same venue.
Tickets for the gig were only advertised via the White Lies forums; and a specific ticketing ballot was set up. There were three hundred fans present in the room. Intimate would be the best word to describe this. Yet, whenever White Lies hit that first note; the crowd all took a step backwards! With so much power and ferocity in their setlist; this was one hell of a gig.
Showcasing tracks from To Lose My Life and songs from the highly anticipated new album Big TV; this was a setlist that contained new and old. White Lies certainly know how to please a crowd. Dipping into tracks like Farewell to the Fairground and A Place to Hide early on shows how much they still love their first record; and how much they know that their fans love that record.
There were lots of dedications; there was an element of surprise in lead singer Harry McVeigh's stage presence; "We've never heard a crowd sing our songs so loudly before"; plus there were plenty of smiles. White Lies songs are quite sinister tales of love and loss; and it is intriguing to note how Harry completely changes as soon as that first note is played.
Ultimately though, it is the hits which are the reason why White Lies are so successful. Tracks like Unfinished Business and Death light up the room. Also, I've always felt that the song Bigger Than Us; from the highly underrated album Ritual, IS bigger than White Lies. It is totally epic.
Three hundred people; and the five band members on stage; left the room on a complete high. That was an incredible show.
Tickets for the gig were only advertised via the White Lies forums; and a specific ticketing ballot was set up. There were three hundred fans present in the room. Intimate would be the best word to describe this. Yet, whenever White Lies hit that first note; the crowd all took a step backwards! With so much power and ferocity in their setlist; this was one hell of a gig.
Showcasing tracks from To Lose My Life and songs from the highly anticipated new album Big TV; this was a setlist that contained new and old. White Lies certainly know how to please a crowd. Dipping into tracks like Farewell to the Fairground and A Place to Hide early on shows how much they still love their first record; and how much they know that their fans love that record.
There were lots of dedications; there was an element of surprise in lead singer Harry McVeigh's stage presence; "We've never heard a crowd sing our songs so loudly before"; plus there were plenty of smiles. White Lies songs are quite sinister tales of love and loss; and it is intriguing to note how Harry completely changes as soon as that first note is played.
Ultimately though, it is the hits which are the reason why White Lies are so successful. Tracks like Unfinished Business and Death light up the room. Also, I've always felt that the song Bigger Than Us; from the highly underrated album Ritual, IS bigger than White Lies. It is totally epic.
Three hundred people; and the five band members on stage; left the room on a complete high. That was an incredible show.
Monday 24 June 2013
Acceptance
There are several things that I worry about.
I worry about the fact that I don't have a Mum anymore and how that will affect me in the future.
I worry about the fact that I still can't accept myself for who I am.
I worry that I'll never find someone who will love me and accept me for who I am.
I worry that I have become too reclusive.
I worry about the fact that I don't have that many friends.
I worry about not having enough friends.
I worry about my Sister.
I worry about my Dad.
I worry about my Nan and Grandad.
I worry about my Nan.
I worry about my job and how secure it is.
I worry about whether I am in the right job and whether I'll be stuck doing the same thing forever and a day.
I worry that people might think I'm weird.
I worry about the fact that I don't have a Mum anymore and how that will affect me in the future.
I worry about the fact that I still can't accept myself for who I am.
I worry that I'll never find someone who will love me and accept me for who I am.
I worry that I have become too reclusive.
I worry about the fact that I don't have that many friends.
I worry about not having enough friends.
I worry about my Sister.
I worry about my Dad.
I worry about my Nan and Grandad.
I worry about my Nan.
I worry about my job and how secure it is.
I worry about whether I am in the right job and whether I'll be stuck doing the same thing forever and a day.
I worry that people might think I'm weird.
Sunday 23 June 2013
Grief
Am I over the loss of my Mum?
No.
However, I have accepted what has happened. It was awful. It took a long time to accept that. Now though, Mum's gone. She won't be returning. For a good while I was waiting for her return. I would imagine what it would be like to see her face again, talk with her, hug her, laugh with her. I would stare out of the window looking to see if her car would turn up. I would sit in rooms where she used to sit and hear her laughter echoing in my memories. I would go to where her ashes were scattered and talk to a tree stump. My tears fell like water at the Niagara Falls when I heard her favourite records.
Moving on was never going to happen. "Move on!" the rest of my family cried. "Come on Rich, what are you doing with your life?" "Are you just going to sit and mope about?" "Your Mum wouldn't want you to do this."
I remember my Mum; telling me that if *I* passed away she would be beside herself and wouldn't know what to do. My Mum told me she'd find it difficult to live on, if I went. I feel a bit like that myself. I can't move on; I don't really want to.
You see, when a person you love dies, it shocks you beyond all realms of recognition. Everybody has to die someday. Yet, in our heads and in our ideal version of how our life is going to pan out; we envisage ourselves to die old. So when someone passes away and they're relatively young; we are consumed by grief that the person is no longer there; and also anger and sadness that the person was taken so soon.
This is very much how I feel about my Mum. In my ideal version of how life was going to pan out, of course I thought that I would outlive my Mum. I expected that to happen. I just didn't think it would be so soon. The sad thing is that I only knew her for twenty two years.
It is a times like this following a loss, where you suddenly realise that your life is completely different to those around you. Your life is determined by the events that happen to you and your loved ones. With everyone being different, everyone has a different outlook on the world around them. Yet, your world crumbles and falls apart, while others carry on.
This has been the hardest part. I have become even more introverted, shy and reserved following Mum's loss. I lost all my confidence and my self consciousness returned with a vengeance; I fell into a depressive mood. I now rarely attend parties. I have lost touch with old friends. I deleted my Facebook account because I didn't want to see photographs of people I knew having a good time, or indeed, people having fun. How dare they, when I was feeling completely rubbish? This turmoil in my mind has run so very deep.
Grief has been so overpowering that it has strained my heart. I have ached so much, that I haven't been able to share it elsewhere with another person. I also haven't been able to create my own relationships because of my shattered confidence in myself and my loss of direction. I haven't made a new friend in years.
The only people I really love are my closest family and friends. There aren't many of them, but I care very much for them. You see, I have never been in love. I find it difficult to open up and love new people. Through what has happened I have been left wondering if I ever will experience love.
I do find it really difficult to love myself. I wish I didn't feel so upset about my Mum's loss, but it does begin to take over; like snow in the corners of you window on a Wintry day. I don't know how I will eventually get over it. My emotions are all over the place. I'm not going to let someone into my life for the sake of it. If I am going to try and start a relationship of any kind, they have to be really really good, and they have to understand the above. However, you can't really explain the above on a first date, can you?
And that's it. I'm scared of committing myself into any form of relationship; because at times I am completely overwhelmed by sadness and grief; which wouldn't be fair on anyone. I can't love anyone else at the moment.
Three and a half years on, and I'm still missing her. She was a superstar.
I love you Mum.
No.
However, I have accepted what has happened. It was awful. It took a long time to accept that. Now though, Mum's gone. She won't be returning. For a good while I was waiting for her return. I would imagine what it would be like to see her face again, talk with her, hug her, laugh with her. I would stare out of the window looking to see if her car would turn up. I would sit in rooms where she used to sit and hear her laughter echoing in my memories. I would go to where her ashes were scattered and talk to a tree stump. My tears fell like water at the Niagara Falls when I heard her favourite records.
Moving on was never going to happen. "Move on!" the rest of my family cried. "Come on Rich, what are you doing with your life?" "Are you just going to sit and mope about?" "Your Mum wouldn't want you to do this."
I remember my Mum; telling me that if *I* passed away she would be beside herself and wouldn't know what to do. My Mum told me she'd find it difficult to live on, if I went. I feel a bit like that myself. I can't move on; I don't really want to.
You see, when a person you love dies, it shocks you beyond all realms of recognition. Everybody has to die someday. Yet, in our heads and in our ideal version of how our life is going to pan out; we envisage ourselves to die old. So when someone passes away and they're relatively young; we are consumed by grief that the person is no longer there; and also anger and sadness that the person was taken so soon.
This is very much how I feel about my Mum. In my ideal version of how life was going to pan out, of course I thought that I would outlive my Mum. I expected that to happen. I just didn't think it would be so soon. The sad thing is that I only knew her for twenty two years.
It is a times like this following a loss, where you suddenly realise that your life is completely different to those around you. Your life is determined by the events that happen to you and your loved ones. With everyone being different, everyone has a different outlook on the world around them. Yet, your world crumbles and falls apart, while others carry on.
This has been the hardest part. I have become even more introverted, shy and reserved following Mum's loss. I lost all my confidence and my self consciousness returned with a vengeance; I fell into a depressive mood. I now rarely attend parties. I have lost touch with old friends. I deleted my Facebook account because I didn't want to see photographs of people I knew having a good time, or indeed, people having fun. How dare they, when I was feeling completely rubbish? This turmoil in my mind has run so very deep.
Grief has been so overpowering that it has strained my heart. I have ached so much, that I haven't been able to share it elsewhere with another person. I also haven't been able to create my own relationships because of my shattered confidence in myself and my loss of direction. I haven't made a new friend in years.
The only people I really love are my closest family and friends. There aren't many of them, but I care very much for them. You see, I have never been in love. I find it difficult to open up and love new people. Through what has happened I have been left wondering if I ever will experience love.
I do find it really difficult to love myself. I wish I didn't feel so upset about my Mum's loss, but it does begin to take over; like snow in the corners of you window on a Wintry day. I don't know how I will eventually get over it. My emotions are all over the place. I'm not going to let someone into my life for the sake of it. If I am going to try and start a relationship of any kind, they have to be really really good, and they have to understand the above. However, you can't really explain the above on a first date, can you?
And that's it. I'm scared of committing myself into any form of relationship; because at times I am completely overwhelmed by sadness and grief; which wouldn't be fair on anyone. I can't love anyone else at the moment.
Three and a half years on, and I'm still missing her. She was a superstar.
I love you Mum.
Monday 1 April 2013
Living One Handed- Hello
Now for something which may be of interest. How to cope whilst living one-handed!
This is a survival guide, of sorts!
In summary, I have right sided hemiplegia. It is a mild form of cerebral palsy. I was born with this disability. I have no use of my right hand and very limited dexterity of my fingers. The brain signals to control my right arm are not there. I get mixed messages in my brain, which cause my fingers to close rather than open. Dear reader, I dare say; if you had this, you would get mightily frustrated.
It is only after living with a condition like this your whole life that you learn to adapt. I have no choice. It won't get any better. I have to get on with it!
I've recently moved house and now live on my own. After years of asking fellow family members for help, suddenly, it is just me, myself and my left arm. I can't ask for help!
..........................................................................
In this first installment, let me talk about some of the challenges I occasionally face being totally one-handed. Shall we begin with a simple handshake? Hmm, maybe not!
In this first installment, let me talk about some of the challenges I occasionally face being totally one-handed. Shall we begin with a simple handshake? Hmm, maybe not!
Often, I don't have a choice with a handshake. All handshakes are rather annoyingly right handed. I am faced with a right hand from someone who wants to greet me. Their right hand is pointed in my direction, waiting to be shook. Now, my right hand will not go towards their right hand; clasp together firmly, shake and then let go. It just will not do that. I had horrid weekly physiotherapy sessions as a child where I practised this. I could never do it then, and I can never do it now.
So, what does one do in this situation? What would you do?
In my case, I try my own brand of "backward handshake". I don't want to refuse the handshake; I'll just go about it differently to everyone else. I am an expert at a "backward handshake". This is basically twisting your left hand around to shake their right hand. If I'm meeting someone for the first time; the look of horror etched on a person's face opposite is not too dissimilar to one from a protagonist in a Murder Mysteries' television drama.
To be honest, I wish there was another method of introduction. I just want this introductory nonsense to be over and done with. I've sometimes even apologised for not shaking hands properly: "Oh, I'm sorry"; "sorry!"; "ah, I can't do that, sorry". What am I apologising for? The fact I am unable to shake hands? Why aren't high fives more popular? I can do one of those!
Oh, and don't get me started on hugs. I'm completely rubbish at them. I think I should be known as "half a hug Rich!"
Awkward situations are all too common, and happen completely out of the blue. I had an odd moment in a pub not too long back, where I bought a round of drinks for some work colleagues. Now, you guys with two hands; you can probably carry two drinks, right? Or you can carry three if you're highly skilled. Or if you had a tray you could carry half a dozen. Me? Just the one.
So, think how I felt when I was at a work-do in a really busy pub where I went to the bar to buy a round of drinks and realised that no-one had come up with me to help. I had to walk back to the table carrying solely just the one drink at a time. I made four or five return journeys to the bar and back.
The group I was with idly chatted amongst themselves and no one batted an eyelid at me. I didn't say anything but I left the pub shortly afterwards. I wasn't going to go out with that gang again!
Also, if I'm holding a drink and meeting someone for the first time in a busy place, a handshake is entirely out of the question. Please don't offer to shake hands! I have actually had to bump elbows(!) before as a way of introducing myself. I naturally have wallflower tendencies; but the older I have become, the more I have realised that this is subconsciously intentional and totally essential to my requirements. I need to be near the edge of the room so that I can put my drink down if I need to on a window-sill or a table. As Jona Lewie once sang: "You will always find me by a window-ledge at parties".
Here's something which I don't think many people will understand, but I have to get this off my chest. I cannot stand buffets. Especially the kind of buffets where there is no spare room on the table for you to place your plate in front of the food so that you can serve. How am I supposed to dish up onto my plate otherwise? If there is no space, then it is virtually impossible for me. I must admit; at times I'd prefer to attempt to tackle Mount Everest, than attempt to tackle a buffet!
On occasions, I do stand out from the crowd. I was growled at by a huge bouncer in a queue outside a nightclub once; "Oi, mate, what's in your hand!?" How do you explain to a six foot six, sixteen stone bouncer that you have limited dexterity in your right arm and hand and are therefore unable to show the palm of your hand on request? (bearing in mind you are both shouting over booming dub-step coming from inside the club). I shouted back my answer: "I'm sorry, I don't have anything in my hand!! I'm sorry but I can't open my hand!!! I have a disability!!..." I don't know why I continue to apologise. He didn't hear my answer the first time. Fortunately, on the second occasion; after causing a huge stir in the queue and after I had totally cramped my style to the girl I fancied in the queue behind me; he waved me through. This is partly the reason why I don't like going to nightclubs that often. That, and the fact that there's usually not many window-sills to be able to rest your drink down on!
In a similar fashion and in somewhat bizarre circumstances a police officer stopped me once in my adapted motor car, and asked me what I was concealing in my right hand. "Can you show me what you've got in your right hand, Sir?" he asked. He was implying that I looked like I was up to no good and was trying to hide something. I'll never forget how much he apologised to me afterwards or how bright red his face went when I explained. He actually offered me a cup of tea from the nearby shop as a "goodwill gesture" (or possibly out of sheer embarrassment). I politely declined.
I bet all you two handed people haven't faced the above situations, have you?
Yet, no matter what I do; life unintentionally throws some new challenges my way. I may write more about this soon. Living one handed certainly does have it's fair share of interesting moments.
Finally, to any one-handed people who can associate with what I have written; be it about your angst towards buffet tables or the dilemma over backward handshakes; have a high five!
*high fives*
So, what does one do in this situation? What would you do?
In my case, I try my own brand of "backward handshake". I don't want to refuse the handshake; I'll just go about it differently to everyone else. I am an expert at a "backward handshake". This is basically twisting your left hand around to shake their right hand. If I'm meeting someone for the first time; the look of horror etched on a person's face opposite is not too dissimilar to one from a protagonist in a Murder Mysteries' television drama.
To be honest, I wish there was another method of introduction. I just want this introductory nonsense to be over and done with. I've sometimes even apologised for not shaking hands properly: "Oh, I'm sorry"; "sorry!"; "ah, I can't do that, sorry". What am I apologising for? The fact I am unable to shake hands? Why aren't high fives more popular? I can do one of those!
Oh, and don't get me started on hugs. I'm completely rubbish at them. I think I should be known as "half a hug Rich!"
Awkward situations are all too common, and happen completely out of the blue. I had an odd moment in a pub not too long back, where I bought a round of drinks for some work colleagues. Now, you guys with two hands; you can probably carry two drinks, right? Or you can carry three if you're highly skilled. Or if you had a tray you could carry half a dozen. Me? Just the one.
So, think how I felt when I was at a work-do in a really busy pub where I went to the bar to buy a round of drinks and realised that no-one had come up with me to help. I had to walk back to the table carrying solely just the one drink at a time. I made four or five return journeys to the bar and back.
The group I was with idly chatted amongst themselves and no one batted an eyelid at me. I didn't say anything but I left the pub shortly afterwards. I wasn't going to go out with that gang again!
Also, if I'm holding a drink and meeting someone for the first time in a busy place, a handshake is entirely out of the question. Please don't offer to shake hands! I have actually had to bump elbows(!) before as a way of introducing myself. I naturally have wallflower tendencies; but the older I have become, the more I have realised that this is subconsciously intentional and totally essential to my requirements. I need to be near the edge of the room so that I can put my drink down if I need to on a window-sill or a table. As Jona Lewie once sang: "You will always find me by a window-ledge at parties".
Here's something which I don't think many people will understand, but I have to get this off my chest. I cannot stand buffets. Especially the kind of buffets where there is no spare room on the table for you to place your plate in front of the food so that you can serve. How am I supposed to dish up onto my plate otherwise? If there is no space, then it is virtually impossible for me. I must admit; at times I'd prefer to attempt to tackle Mount Everest, than attempt to tackle a buffet!
On occasions, I do stand out from the crowd. I was growled at by a huge bouncer in a queue outside a nightclub once; "Oi, mate, what's in your hand!?" How do you explain to a six foot six, sixteen stone bouncer that you have limited dexterity in your right arm and hand and are therefore unable to show the palm of your hand on request? (bearing in mind you are both shouting over booming dub-step coming from inside the club). I shouted back my answer: "I'm sorry, I don't have anything in my hand!! I'm sorry but I can't open my hand!!! I have a disability!!..." I don't know why I continue to apologise. He didn't hear my answer the first time. Fortunately, on the second occasion; after causing a huge stir in the queue and after I had totally cramped my style to the girl I fancied in the queue behind me; he waved me through. This is partly the reason why I don't like going to nightclubs that often. That, and the fact that there's usually not many window-sills to be able to rest your drink down on!
In a similar fashion and in somewhat bizarre circumstances a police officer stopped me once in my adapted motor car, and asked me what I was concealing in my right hand. "Can you show me what you've got in your right hand, Sir?" he asked. He was implying that I looked like I was up to no good and was trying to hide something. I'll never forget how much he apologised to me afterwards or how bright red his face went when I explained. He actually offered me a cup of tea from the nearby shop as a "goodwill gesture" (or possibly out of sheer embarrassment). I politely declined.
I bet all you two handed people haven't faced the above situations, have you?
Yet, no matter what I do; life unintentionally throws some new challenges my way. I may write more about this soon. Living one handed certainly does have it's fair share of interesting moments.
Finally, to any one-handed people who can associate with what I have written; be it about your angst towards buffet tables or the dilemma over backward handshakes; have a high five!
*high fives*
The best songs of the moment
Here are my favourite songs from the past year or so. The Youtube playlist is here.
All are highly recommended. My rules were to try and pick thirty, but there are thirty nine here- I couldn't whittle it down. My other rule was to include only one track by that artist. Unfortunately, I haven't stuck to those rules. There are two Bat For Lashes tracks in the below list; and there are three separate occasions where St Vincent appears. Both Natasha and Annie are amazing; don't you dare ask for me to choose one or the other!
Anyway, I hope you enjoy.
YEASAYER- Folk Hero Schtick
EVERYTHING EVERYTHING- Kemosabe
GRIZZLY BEAR- A Simple Answer
THE MACCABEES- Child
KINDNESS- Gee Up
ST VINCENT- Krokodil
FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE- Breaking Down
MADNESS- Misery
DAVID BRYNE FEAT. ST VINCENT- Weekend In The Dust
FEIST- Graveyard
FOALS- Inhaler
BAT FOR LASHES- Laura
BAT FOR LASHES- All Your Gold
SARAH BLASKO- I Awake
METRONOMY- Hypnose
SYLVER TONGUE- Something Big
GLASS ANIMALS- Cocoa Hooves
MYSTERY JETS- The Hale Bop
ANDREW BIRD- Luisitania
WILLY MASON- I Got Gold
THE WALKMEN- Heaven
BEN FOLDS FIVE- Do It Anyway
THE FUTUREHEADS- Man Ray
TWO DOOR CINEMA CLUB- Sun
HAIM- Forever
DARWIN DEEZ- Free (Editiorial Me)
MOUNTAIN MAN- Sewee Sewee
BEIRUT- Vagabond
GWILYM GOLD- Lust For Sale
LISA HANNIGAN- Knots
CAT POWER- Cherokee
SLOW CLUB- Beginners
TAME IMPALA- Elephant
ACTIVE CHILD- Hanging On
VILLAGERS- Nothing Arrived
EFTERKLANG- Hollow Mountain
All are highly recommended. My rules were to try and pick thirty, but there are thirty nine here- I couldn't whittle it down. My other rule was to include only one track by that artist. Unfortunately, I haven't stuck to those rules. There are two Bat For Lashes tracks in the below list; and there are three separate occasions where St Vincent appears. Both Natasha and Annie are amazing; don't you dare ask for me to choose one or the other!
Anyway, I hope you enjoy.
YEASAYER- Folk Hero Schtick
EVERYTHING EVERYTHING- Kemosabe
GRIZZLY BEAR- A Simple Answer
THE MACCABEES- Child
KINDNESS- Gee Up
ST VINCENT- Krokodil
FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE- Breaking Down
MADNESS- Misery
DAVID BRYNE FEAT. ST VINCENT- Weekend In The Dust
FEIST- Graveyard
FOALS- Inhaler
BAT FOR LASHES- Laura
BAT FOR LASHES- All Your Gold
SARAH BLASKO- I Awake
METRONOMY- Hypnose
SYLVER TONGUE- Something Big
GLASS ANIMALS- Cocoa Hooves
MYSTERY JETS- The Hale Bop
ANDREW BIRD- Luisitania
WILLY MASON- I Got Gold
THE WALKMEN- Heaven
BEN FOLDS FIVE- Do It Anyway
THE FUTUREHEADS- Man Ray
TWO DOOR CINEMA CLUB- Sun
HAIM- Forever
DARWIN DEEZ- Free (Editiorial Me)
MOUNTAIN MAN- Sewee Sewee
BEIRUT- Vagabond
GWILYM GOLD- Lust For Sale
LISA HANNIGAN- Knots
CAT POWER- Cherokee
SLOW CLUB- Beginners
TAME IMPALA- Elephant
ACTIVE CHILD- Hanging On
VILLAGERS- Nothing Arrived
EFTERKLANG- Hollow Mountain
Sunday 20 January 2013
An ode to...HMV
Dear HMV; if according to news reports, you do go; I will miss you terribly.
After all, you're the only place on the High Street where I actually feel at home. I can walk around and look at music records and CD's and go "hmm, I have't heard that, I wonder if it's any good". Or then see another and go "yes, I like that one!" I kind of fit in, amongst the shop dwellers.
You see, I am not really warming to Internet shopping. I don't want to buy things off the Internet. I work all day long with computers. I am paid to look at a computer. The last thing I want to do is go on a computer when I am not at work. It's precisely the same reason why I haven't invested in a Kindle. Do I have to use a screen for everything now?
Music still is the one thing that I am trying to non computerise my life by. However, it seems I have little choice but to change with the times. I reluctantly joined Spotify last Autumn. And yet, while it is amazing that it seems every track from every album from all time is on there, I still can't bring myself to like it. It's just too convenient. If you download a track there's nothing to hold. If you download a track there's nothing to grasp and look at. If you download a track there's nothing to read whilst simultaneously listening to the CD and eating your breakfast.
I still rushed into HMV recently, to buy the latest Everything Everything album. I had been waiting months for that record to come out. On the day it appeared on shop shelves I purposely went all the way into town to pick up my copy. I know that I could have gone click, click, click on my mobile phone and I would have had the same thing; but somehow it doesn't feel the same. I didn't want to do that. I wanted to make the effort to go and buy it from the shop. It cost me £12. As always as a memory of my purchase I kept the sticker attached.
So, why this rush to buy the latest new music? I think it is because I like the idea of supporting the artist. I went out of my way on Monday morning to buy the latest release. It is, dare I say it, akin to a die-hard football supporter. If you love the football team, then you'll try to cheer them on at every match. In the same way, if you love the band, then you'll buy every record; the moment it is released. Or you'll try and see a show of theirs every time they play in your area. I am a sucker for this. But, I love some artists and I will go and see them again and again. This is only my view, of course. There are bands out there that I adore, and I would go and buy everything of theirs; just to show my appreciation. I never was a fan of illegal downloading. I wanted the bands I liked to earn money to make more music. My theory is that buying the physical record shows your support for your favourite musicians.
I have bought everything from Thomas Tantrum to Los Campesinos, in store. The knowing look I gave the till assistant when I handed over these obscure albums was one I mastered over the years. It was the "yes, I have good taste" face. In the case of the aforementioned artists, I got this all completely wrong. Incidentally, I have never played that Los Campesinos record. It sits in my collection completely untouched.
In the (now sadly defunct) Oxford Street branch opposite Bond Street tube station I have on two separate occasions bumped into Paul Weller. I followed him around, and whatever he picked up, I went and looked at. Do you think Paul Weller will now be going on-line to buy his music? It just all feels weird; this one click and it's yours malarkey. If HMV do go completely, there will be a huge amount of people completely at a loss with where to go on their Saturday afternoons. Other halves will now have to accompany their loved ones into the dreaded clothes shops. There is no alternative "I'll just be in HMV, love" escape from this now.
What was your first record that you went and purchased? I bought a CD single double of Girl all the Bad Guys Want by Bowling For Soup and Dreaming of You by The Coral in HMV Watford, circa 2001/2002. The first album I purchased was Is This It? by The Strokes. As a self conscious brace-wearing spotty teenager I blushed as I handed over the Strokes album to the assistant; what with the slightly racy cover picture.
Of course, my medium of music is the CD. I was too young for vinyl, and tapes were not quite my era either. CD's were in full swing in 2001; the year I bought my first. This format was something I became accustomed to.
There is always a little booklet of song lyrics (some artists reluctantly decide not to help you out here) with pictures and facts about the band. Sometimes it doesn't quite look so neat. In XTC's English Settlement the booklet of lyrics are so small that you need a magnifying glass. The translation from vinyl to CD hasn't quite worked. Yet, in the recent Madness album re-issues, there was a much neater little booklet accompanying each piece. On each album there was a little story in the booklet from esteemed folk like David Quantick and Phill Jupitus. It was really lovely to read words about cherished albums you love.
On The Jarvis Cocker Record by Jarvis Cocker there is a note that says "Remember! As always please do not read the words whilst listening to the recordings". On the Cure's outstanding 1989 album Disintegration, there is a note on the artwork that says, "This music has been mixed to be played loud, so turn it up".
The above albums that I have mentioned are pieces of art, and wouldn't be half as good without the artwork or the notes. For me, they are almost as important as the music.
But HMV aren't really helping themselves. It has turned into a supermarket in most of their stores. When you visualise a record shop, you depict the shop featured in the film High Fidelity (a must see film). Yet, HMV doesn't feel as intimate anymore. No one suddenly puts on a Beta Band record. I can't remember the last time someone in there recommended me a record. That is where independent retailers will succeed, and will live on. But, I live in a town where there are no independent music retailers. This isn't possible. HMV is my "only" local music outlet.
The one place on the High Street, which sells music in a physical format (besides the independent dealers) is HMV. Virgin, Zavvi, Tower, Our Price are just distant memories. Let us not be mourning the loss of another. I will visit HMV, until the sad day they say "no more". Let this be a long way off yet.
Viva la HMV.
Post script: HMV closed it's doors for the final time in Watford on Thursday 21st March 2013. End of an era.
After all, you're the only place on the High Street where I actually feel at home. I can walk around and look at music records and CD's and go "hmm, I have't heard that, I wonder if it's any good". Or then see another and go "yes, I like that one!" I kind of fit in, amongst the shop dwellers.
You see, I am not really warming to Internet shopping. I don't want to buy things off the Internet. I work all day long with computers. I am paid to look at a computer. The last thing I want to do is go on a computer when I am not at work. It's precisely the same reason why I haven't invested in a Kindle. Do I have to use a screen for everything now?
Music still is the one thing that I am trying to non computerise my life by. However, it seems I have little choice but to change with the times. I reluctantly joined Spotify last Autumn. And yet, while it is amazing that it seems every track from every album from all time is on there, I still can't bring myself to like it. It's just too convenient. If you download a track there's nothing to hold. If you download a track there's nothing to grasp and look at. If you download a track there's nothing to read whilst simultaneously listening to the CD and eating your breakfast.
I still rushed into HMV recently, to buy the latest Everything Everything album. I had been waiting months for that record to come out. On the day it appeared on shop shelves I purposely went all the way into town to pick up my copy. I know that I could have gone click, click, click on my mobile phone and I would have had the same thing; but somehow it doesn't feel the same. I didn't want to do that. I wanted to make the effort to go and buy it from the shop. It cost me £12. As always as a memory of my purchase I kept the sticker attached.
So, why this rush to buy the latest new music? I think it is because I like the idea of supporting the artist. I went out of my way on Monday morning to buy the latest release. It is, dare I say it, akin to a die-hard football supporter. If you love the football team, then you'll try to cheer them on at every match. In the same way, if you love the band, then you'll buy every record; the moment it is released. Or you'll try and see a show of theirs every time they play in your area. I am a sucker for this. But, I love some artists and I will go and see them again and again. This is only my view, of course. There are bands out there that I adore, and I would go and buy everything of theirs; just to show my appreciation. I never was a fan of illegal downloading. I wanted the bands I liked to earn money to make more music. My theory is that buying the physical record shows your support for your favourite musicians.
I have bought everything from Thomas Tantrum to Los Campesinos, in store. The knowing look I gave the till assistant when I handed over these obscure albums was one I mastered over the years. It was the "yes, I have good taste" face. In the case of the aforementioned artists, I got this all completely wrong. Incidentally, I have never played that Los Campesinos record. It sits in my collection completely untouched.
In the (now sadly defunct) Oxford Street branch opposite Bond Street tube station I have on two separate occasions bumped into Paul Weller. I followed him around, and whatever he picked up, I went and looked at. Do you think Paul Weller will now be going on-line to buy his music? It just all feels weird; this one click and it's yours malarkey. If HMV do go completely, there will be a huge amount of people completely at a loss with where to go on their Saturday afternoons. Other halves will now have to accompany their loved ones into the dreaded clothes shops. There is no alternative "I'll just be in HMV, love" escape from this now.
What was your first record that you went and purchased? I bought a CD single double of Girl all the Bad Guys Want by Bowling For Soup and Dreaming of You by The Coral in HMV Watford, circa 2001/2002. The first album I purchased was Is This It? by The Strokes. As a self conscious brace-wearing spotty teenager I blushed as I handed over the Strokes album to the assistant; what with the slightly racy cover picture.
Of course, my medium of music is the CD. I was too young for vinyl, and tapes were not quite my era either. CD's were in full swing in 2001; the year I bought my first. This format was something I became accustomed to.
There is always a little booklet of song lyrics (some artists reluctantly decide not to help you out here) with pictures and facts about the band. Sometimes it doesn't quite look so neat. In XTC's English Settlement the booklet of lyrics are so small that you need a magnifying glass. The translation from vinyl to CD hasn't quite worked. Yet, in the recent Madness album re-issues, there was a much neater little booklet accompanying each piece. On each album there was a little story in the booklet from esteemed folk like David Quantick and Phill Jupitus. It was really lovely to read words about cherished albums you love.
On The Jarvis Cocker Record by Jarvis Cocker there is a note that says "Remember! As always please do not read the words whilst listening to the recordings". On the Cure's outstanding 1989 album Disintegration, there is a note on the artwork that says, "This music has been mixed to be played loud, so turn it up".
The above albums that I have mentioned are pieces of art, and wouldn't be half as good without the artwork or the notes. For me, they are almost as important as the music.
But HMV aren't really helping themselves. It has turned into a supermarket in most of their stores. When you visualise a record shop, you depict the shop featured in the film High Fidelity (a must see film). Yet, HMV doesn't feel as intimate anymore. No one suddenly puts on a Beta Band record. I can't remember the last time someone in there recommended me a record. That is where independent retailers will succeed, and will live on. But, I live in a town where there are no independent music retailers. This isn't possible. HMV is my "only" local music outlet.
The one place on the High Street, which sells music in a physical format (besides the independent dealers) is HMV. Virgin, Zavvi, Tower, Our Price are just distant memories. Let us not be mourning the loss of another. I will visit HMV, until the sad day they say "no more". Let this be a long way off yet.
Viva la HMV.
Post script: HMV closed it's doors for the final time in Watford on Thursday 21st March 2013. End of an era.
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