Stabilisers

The above phtograph was taken in the Summertime in the halcyon days of the early nineties, on a family holiday near Bristol. That little blonde-haired boy, excitedly racing aroud a beautifully tranquil old farmhouse, is me!

It was a momentus occasion. It was the first time I was able to ride a bicycle without stabilisers.

I spent months and months at home, trying to master the art of balancing on two wheels. Standing on one leg is something I have always found really tricky, so learning to be on two wheels was also going to be a challenge. I was a couple of years behind my peers, in managing to achieve this feat, but nevertheless, I did it! All the other kids in the street where we lived managed to ride a bike without stabilisers, so my determination to succeed was loosely based on their success.

Determination to overcome a skill or challenge was inherited in me from an early age. I remember feeling so determined to ride without stabilisers. I fell off my bike so many times while I was practising. The family holiday and the long afternoons in the sun gave me enough dedicated time to concentrate and master the skill. My Dad then hooked off the stabilisers, and it was suddenly my balance versus me.

Staying upright was my biggest challenge. On many occasions my Dad ran behind me, clutching the back of my seat to hold me steady. I started again and again, not quite holding it together, and falling to one side. It was practise, practise, practise.

Then it clicked. Suddenly, just like the previous twenty or thirty times, I got on the saddle, gripped the handlebars, leant forward and turned the pedals. I teetered along slowly. With much trepidation I waited for the moment that Dad would stop running and set me free. Cautiously I pressed the pedals. A couple of rotations of my feet and I then realised my Dad was ten yards behind me. I was doing it. Alone. I recall a lot of wobbling, and a lot of "whoahing", but I WAS CYCLING!

You couldn't stop me after that!

It's funny, because I also remember clearly the day I passed my driving test. The woman who was carrying out the test, turning around to me and saying "well, Richard, I'm very pleased to say that you've passed!" This was followed by a photograph of myself next to my instructors car with the biggest grin on my face imaginable.

I remember the moment I learnt to do ten football keepy-uppys non-stop. Again, all my friends at school and the team I played football with on Sunday mornings could do hundreds. I was in our back garden when I managed ten. I punched the air in jubilation. My Mum, looking out at me enthusiastically from kitchen window, actually clapped!

I'm writing this, because those learning days aren't just fragments of my past. I continue to want to learn new skills, in my present and in my future. I remember the day in the photo above, the day I passed my driving test, or the day I managed to do ten keepy-uppys at football. Each little achievement was like scoring a goal.

Upon reminiscing about these moments, I realise that actually there's nothing stopping me from continuing to learn new skills.

Recently, I found myself searching "one handed trumpet players" the other day on Google. There's even a "one handed saxophone" that you can buy on a specialist music website, too! To master a musical instrument, and play something other than a kazoo, would be wonderful. (see other article about disability for reference to one handed ness)

Last year, I signed up to do an extra curricular course at my local college. It was one of the best things I could have done. For one evening a week I would go off and learn about a subject that I really was intrigued in. Being in a classroom environment, and actually wanting to be there, was a complete joy. I revelled in the subject (I chose an Introduction to Counselling course) and found myself picking up new skills, and wanting to know more.

I am looking to continue new learning when the new term begins in the Autumn, although at the moment I am unsure which subjects to pursue. I'm fascinated in all sorts of topics. I like having extra strings to my bow.

Ultimately, you see that determined seven year old in the picture above? I haven't really changed. I suppose I'm just a little bit of a bigger version.

Ten songs

Here's an arbitrary list of ten songs that you must hear this month.

Playlist here:

Grizzly Bear: Sleeping Ute
The latest track from Brooklyn-based band Grizzly Bear. As with every Grizzly Bear tune, this waltzes into your subconscious and before you know it, you're humming along.

Theme Park: Milk
Try not to dance to this. Go on, I dare you. This is so dance-able and I nearly fell down the stairs at the Brixton Academy while bopping along to this track. I met the lead singer following the gig and told him how much I loved their music. More Theme Park please.

The Walkmen: We Can't Be Beat
From the latest Walkmen album. This is a beautiful track from a band who are on my definite list to see live at some point.

Kindness: House
Saw this performed live at Field Day, and it hasn't left me. It is quite a euphoric record. Adam Bainbridge's album is hit and miss (see/hear the dreadful cover of Anyone Can Fall In Love) but this track is mighty fine on the album.

Wild Beasts: Brave Bulging Buoyant Clairvoyants
I forgot how good Wild Beasts were. This track, from their debut record Limbo, Panto is a good old footstomper. This can be completely addictive.

Scritti Politti- Asylums in Jerusalem
Oh, the loops and the swirls and the bass line here is a joy. This is from the 1981 album Songs to Remember, which is so highly underrated.

Summer Camp: Better Off Without You
Another act I saw at Field Day. This track bounces along and there is such an element of nostalgia. I should also point out that I am a little bit in love with the lead singer Elizabeth Sankey. Her vocals are excellent here; a top little tune.

The Cure- 10:15 Saturday Night
Drip, drip, drip, drip, drip. Yes. Need I say anymore? The coolest song in the world.

Madness: Michael Caine
I'm allowed a couple of blasts from the pasts aren't I? Madness, having recently played on Buckingham Palace roof are quite magnificent here in this 1984 track. Beautifully written, regarding tricky subject matter. Sung by Cathal Smyth.

Mountain Man: Animal Tracks
Just go and listen and fall in love with this song. The harmonies and the vocals of the trio is so beautiful. I bet you can't just play it the once.

I would post more, but those ten for the time being. I've selected new and old tracks here, but that's allowed isn't it?

Are there any other tracks I must hear, that I have missed off?

Field Day

Field Day.

A day spent in Victoria Park listening to music is a perfect way to spend a Saturday in June. I was present at Field Day, a one day music festival bonanza in East London, featuring many bands, many stages and many people looking like they'd dressed for a jumble sale.

It was a great day. As soon as I arrived, it was beers, pie and chips. It's a long way to Mile End, and it's an enormous queue to get in. Once fully refreshed, I decided to head straight to the tent at the back of the park where Errors were playing. The tent atmosphere seemed so much more powerful than the open air venue, where the music just seemed to drift away.

I had also wanted to see Summer Camp perform, and they splendidly performed with some 80s influenced beats. Lead singer Elizabeth Sankey announced that she wasn't well whilst performing, but you would have never guessed. Tracks like Down and Better Off Without You were storming renditions, and I think we'll hear more from them in the future.

Highlight of the day was the act following Summer Camp. Adam Bainbridge and his band; better known as Kindness, played a quite amazing funky set. I wasn't sure what to expect, but they left me in no doubt that Kindness are the band of the moment.

Songs like Cyan, with an amazing bass riff, and That's Alright are excellent. During the performance of the euphoric House, he jumped into the crowd yards away from me to sing the lines. The forty minutes they were on stage for I was blown away. I am sure that he is destined for bigger things.

Metronomy played for an hour on the main stage, and hit the mark too. The sound mixing wasn't quite right, and the organ wasn't clear throughout, which was a shame. I think the open atmosphere also didn't help. I still love how many people in the crowd were on other people's shoulders during The Look. I so wish they would play more from their album "Lights Out" though.

I then took part in a Beirut mosh-pit dance of sorts, as the sky turned to darkness, and as it just started to pour. That was our cue to get out of there and head home. I saw all the bands I wanted to see, and whilst acts like Kindness and SBTRKT were so powerful and perfect, other acts like Toy and Metronomy had the sound levels all wrong. I hope next year that they can sort that out. Obviously with so many different people making changes, it would be impossible to get it quite right.

But, we still had a good time.

2008

Four years ago, I was involved with the hubbub and buzz and build up of the Paralympic Games. I represented Team GB at 7 a side football in Beijing, China. It remains one of my greatest achievements, and to be honest, nothing comes quite as close to matching that moment.
This year, unfortunately, after putting in dedicated hours and hours of training and playing I didn't make the cut for the final fifteen. That fifteen has been whittled down to twelve now. I am devastated.

Having spent years playing for my country, and putting everything into my training and iproving as a player, I was distraught when they told me I wouldn't be invited on the warm up trip to San Diego back in January.

I still hold the record for amount of appearances, and I am the longest serving member of the squad. I have been involved since 1999, and travelled to my first tournament in Argentina aged just sixteen. I pride myself of those facts.

The thing is, having been wrapped up and dedicated in my sport for so long, means that now I am out of it I don't know what to do with myself.

Do I keep on training? Yes. The drive to train has waned slightly. I do struggle to find the motivation. After all, what am I training for now?

There is one thing that keeps me going. The fact that at any time someone can get injured and suddenly you're drafted in. At the moment though, I feel sad, and upset that I wasn't picked. I worked so hard to be a part of it, but alas, it was all in vain.

This Summer; with the Olympic and Paralympic Games all over the television, it is going to be mightly hard to watch.