Alphabet Story!

Anna Aardvark announced an amazing afternoon activity. Brilliantly beaming, Barnaby Bear baked bread. Carefully, cut. Delicious delights. Everyone enjoyed eating. Fantastically full, friends flounced flat fully. Good golly! How hungry?!"

Immediately in jumped Koala Kathryn! "Look, mmmm, nom nom nom, OOH!" Opening, playing, pressing paws, rummaging, scoffing, savouring, she took time tucking 'to the tasty treats! "umm- vanished!" wailed 'xcitedly! "Yahoo!" yawned zonked and amazed Anna Aardvark. Barnaby Bear could dare eat further food. "Gone! Hurrah!"

1982 story

Now follows a little short story containing the song titles of every number one single from 1982. Hope you enjoy!








The following songs are contained below!

Renee and Renato. Save Your Love.
The Jam. Beat Surrender.
Eddy Grant. I Dont Wanna Dance.
Culture Club. Do You Really Want To Hurt Me
Musical Youth. Pass The Dutchie.
Survivor. Eye Of The Tiger.
Dexys Midnight Runners. Come On Eileen.
Irene Cara. Fame.
Captain Sensible. Happy Talk.
Charlene. I’ve Never Been To Me.
Adam Ant. Goody Two Shoes.
Madness. House Of Fun.
Nicole. A Little Peace.
Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder. Ebony and Ivory
Bucks Fizz. My Camera Never Lies.
The Goombay Dance Band. Seven Tears.
Tight Fit. The Lion Sleeps Tonight
The Jam. A Town Called Malice.
Kraftwerk. The Model.
Shakin Stevens. Oh Julie.
Bucks Fizz. Land Of Make Believe.

The party was in full swing. It was a real house of fun, love and laughter. There was much happy talk between guests, and plenty of people were discussing how beautiful the day was and were getting to know each other. The new husband and wife, Jim and Julie were pleased with the results. They had been apart the whole night, entertaining various guests and mingling amongst the crowd. Jim sidled up to his wife; "...how have you found today darl? We've been here since seven. Tears of joy have been shed over past memories, have you enjoyed yourself?"

Julie answered, "It's been a fabulous night darling. I've enjoyed it so much.". They had managed to scrimp through the past six months, and put all their money aside to make this wedding happen. Oh how they did save. "Your Love means everything to me, Jim", she finally blurted out, making Jim blush in front of the other guests, including Julie's sister Liesa, who winked at Julie.

"Oh shush!" said Jim, secretly delighted.

In the Wedding Hall at the mansion house there were about fifty guests, of old friends and family and there were new faces too. One face stood out from the crowd. He was a young man, with no need to be down, and had travelled up for the day from his base in London Town. Called Mali (certainly that was his nickname) he was a tall and broad fellow, and he'd been standing at the bar all evening, with eyes switching left and right. You could argue that he had the eye of the tiger, as he surveyed the scene. He stood coolly, sipping his drink.

As the music changed pace it cut into the opening bars of Culture Club's "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?". There was a slight change in atmosphere and a little peace. Jim realised that this would be a good opportunity for photos. He approached his shy Sister in law, Liesa to ask her a question. Suddenly he exclaimed "Oh no I forgot to book the man to take pictures with my camera" "Never!!" Liesa replied.

Julie eavesdropped, and spoke up. "Relax! Remember we booked an official photographer! You see that man over there....." Liesa looked around, and looked directly in the eyes of Mali, who immediately looked back. He softened his gaze as they made eye contact. Time stood still, and the moment of eye contant lingered. Liesa and Mali stood motionless while all other drifted along to the disco atmosphere, tunes and the endless beat. Surrendered to each other's glances, they slowly took their time to take in all aspects of each other's face.

Mali noticed her fine cheekbones and delicious eyes, and was in awe of her beauty. Liesa admired his features, then spread her vision further, and judged him to be strong as an ox, capable of living where the lion sleeps. "Tonight", Liesa thought to herself, "I will get to know that man a little better".

Cutting in, Julie brought them both back from their trip to the land of make believe. They immediately cut sort their gazes, and terminated their little staring session.

".....If you see that tall Dutchman over there, Mali? Well, next to him on the bar is a camera". Julie knew what she was intending for her Sister. "If you pass the Dutch..." (ie. making her come into close proximity with) "...man you'll see that's his camera. Ask him to pop over" Liesa wriggled uncomfortably.

She knew this was a big moment for her. "Mali often takes portrait photos, maybe he could shoot you; you're very photogenic. You should ask him what he thinks of you; you could be the Model for him! He's come up especially from London to shoot this Reception party. Ask him for a dance! I dare you!"

Liesa's eyes danced between Julie and Mali. "Oh, Julie, but what if he says "I don't wanna dance"?" worried Liesa. "Well, you'll just have to ask him! You have to be brave!" offered Julie in reply. At that precise moment she put one foot forward the music changed, and now there was some lovely piano chords tinkling away; ebony and ivory making the room instantly sway.

Jim grabbed Julie by the arm, and whirled her around. "Ooh, goody!" Two shoes left the floor as Julie was picked up by her husband. "I love you" she cried as she was whirled around and onto the dancefloor. This was their song, a track they both loved and adored and it enabled them to become one. "I leaned over backwards to get you as my Wife, Julie." He whispered as they swayed, all faces but two on them in the room. Julie beamed.

At the back of the Hall the two faces looked at each other again, Liesa shuffled over to the bar, nervously. "Hi Mali" were the only words she could muster. "Hi there" was the retort from Mali. He seemed cool to Liesa. "I hear you're the photographer, and you're from Holland?" she asked Mali, tentatively. "Yes, I am" said Mali.

Liesa responded, "I've never been". "To me you are fantastic!" interrupted Mali.

"You should visit Holland one day. You look like a filmstar", Mali crudely added. The awkwardness and the breathlessness of his reply made Liesa smile. She instantly relaxed.

"Oh, really!" Liesa reacted; fishing for more compliments. "I'd never want the fame. I'm shy enough approaching a gorgeous man at a Wedding Reception, how would I feel if I was on camera?"

They both giggled. Mali beamed and looked on at the married couple sashaying across the dancefloor. "I'd love to have a day like this myself one day" Mali whispered. Liesa's nodded, "so would I" said Liesa, wrinkling her nose.

"Fancy a dance?".

Metronomy- Royal Albert Hall Live

I'm not sure why I am such a fan of Metronomy. There's a secret ingredient there that makes their music completely absorbing and exciting; it's possible Colonel Sanders is involved.

You cannot help but move to the music; my Sister and I tried to describe which genre they fit into. "Plinky plonky electronic uplifting and happy dance rock indie" is possibly the only category it does. There's a certain uniqueness which makes them stand out, and dance along.

Now, I'm talking from a biased standpoint. When their most recent album "The English Riviera" came out earlier this year, I purchased it (completely on a whim following a recommendation) and played it every day for a month constantly. It wasn't even my first choice album to buy; I went in the record shop intially to buy a Kate Bush record (which funnily enough I've hardly played).

On Monday night this week, I got to see the band live for the first time. This show was at the Royal Albert Hall, a huge circular venue with an awesome surround sound. This is a band who has been on the periphery of the music world, (and still is) taking on one of the most famous venues there are. I know several people have gone "who?!" whenever I mention them. And I always struggle to come up with a definitive answer; hence the "plinky plonky electronic uplifting and happy dance rock indie" description!

A quartet of instrumentalists; including the pan-pipes, the flute and a fella looking like he was playing the "balsa wood" opened proceedings. I saw many heads turn to one another questioning what on earth ws going on! They subsequently left the stage after two tracks, to a slightly baffled audience. When the real four piece band actually walked on, the crowd were on the edge of their seats. I always say that anticipation of act is one of the best things in live shows, there's always a hubbub and buzz before the arrival. The unusual and intriguing quartet made the wait for Metronomy even better.

The main act arrived with little fuss, although the set did seem a little bizarre to begin with; then I realised why; everyone was sat down! Now, you cannot sit down at a Metronomy gig, so with a bit of Dutch Courage I decided to stand; right in the middle of the crowd in row 8 of the stalls. Fortunately as soon as I did; during the kicking beat of the third track in the set, "She Wants", so did everyone else.

The sound was so interesting and with addictive bassline riffs, organ hooks and with Anna Prior's drumbeats it enraptured the audience. Metronomy is a light show too, each band member illuminated by a bright bulb on their chest. This rather adds to the effect of the music, and I noticed the lights moved in time with the chords. They did go back in time with earlier tracks such as "My Heart Rate Rapid" and "You Could Easily Have Me"; two tracks that seemed so out of place and wrong for the Royal Albert Hall, but equally absolutely compelling.

I would say that I did think the four piece are a little stretched with their resources throughout the show. It appeared that they possibly needed a couple of backing singers, because lead singer Joseph Mount and bassist Gbenga Adelekan seemed so overworked vocally during some of the more intricate tracks, especially during Corinne.

However, you have to give them credit for rocking the 'Hall throughout. I don't think I had two feet on the floor at the same time. "A Thing For You" and "Heartbreaker" were expertly done live, and I was completely lost in the rhythm. Crowd favourite "The Look" was played with Oscar Cash arriving onto stage on a wheeled platform playing the organ, and it was executed splendidly. Finishing off their set with the gloriously uplifting "Some Written", with its repetitive ditty, the crowd bayed for more.

They returned with the encore of "Everything Goes My Way", and "Radio Ladio" which I have had as an earworm ever since. If you play Radio Ladio, you cannot help but move along- I dare you try it!

It was everything I had hoped for as a gig, and as I left the venue I was on a musical high. The endorphin rush I had after this show was unlike any other.

I highly recommend them; if I was a Doctor I'd prescribe a daily dose of Metronomy to make you feel good. Go and see them live!

Favourite songs with my footnotes *presses play*

Good day.

Here are twenty four songs that I absolutely love. Twenty four, because I turn twenty four this Wednesday. I've made sure there is a different artist for each song; that was really tricky to choose. This is a very rough draft, but the notes after each song are the first thoughts that pop into my head when it starts playing!

*presses play on favourites playlist*

Mother and Child Reunion- Paul Simon
I first heard this song when I was tiny, but only realised it's meaning after my Mum passed. I think I've said enough there for you to understand how much of a wonderful thing this song means to me. So upbeat and euphoric.

Return of the Las Palmas 7- Madness

A joyous instrumental, which rises and falls tremendously.

I am a Madness-a-holic, and have been since day one. This one is a more obscure track, but still wonderfully crafted. One of my favourite instrumental pieces of music; when the curtains close on my life I want this song to be played. Could have picked a dozen Madness tracks though.

A Message to You Rudy- Dandy Livingstone

Just reminds me of happy times. I only knew of the Specials version for a long time; then discovered the original. The tempo and beat in this is just sublime, I can listen to it over and over.

Kingdom of Rust- Doves

A wide of the mark choice, but Doves are one of the most highly underrated bands ever. Such poignant records, with great understanding and feeling. This song came out around the time of my Mum's passing, hence why I adore this tune so much.

54-46 That's my Number- Toots and the Maytals

Oh, well of course. This is reggae at it's finest. It is just the happiest song in the world. "Give it to me one time!! Give it to me, two times!!" I adore the record, and have been known to bounce along to it.

This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)- Talking Heads
When I first heard this record it washed over me, but with all Talking Heads it grew and grew. Such fabulous words in this record. Can't help but sway and move.

Golden Brown- Stranglers

Possibly a song that would be in everyone's top 24? Wonderful track, the subject matter we need not discuss. The crafted tune, oh yes! One of my Dad's favourites too. Reminds me of him.

It's my Life- Talk Talk
A track that for some reason strikes a chord with me. The video perhaps? Also, No Doubt (featuring Gwen Stefani, featuring later!) did a cover version, but like all I grew to love the original.

Once Around the Block- Badly Drawn Boy

I'm not sure why I like Badly. I just really do; I have all his records. This track is one of his finest, and is a fine little ditty.

Love and Affection- Joan Armatrading

"I'm not in love, but I'm open to persuasion!" a line that rings so true for me! I love Joan, this song with the backing vocals, the acoustic guitar and the bass is just so amazing. "...give me love-oh ooohhh!"

My Moon My Man- Feist

Just here simply because I love her voice. This song is one of my favourites of hers.

Cool for Cats-Squeeze

One of the first songs that I really really liked. It was on an old Top of the Pops compilation tape that I watched when I was little. I just remembered the lyrics and it's possibly the only song I'd be able to do on karaoke! Also, the way it funkily ends is again, magnificent. I love it!

The Harder They Come- Jimmy Cliff

I only knew of this track because of the cover version by Madness. Then, like Rudy and It's my Life, I heard the original. Just inspiring lyrics; a fine record.

Geno- Dexy's Midnight Runners

It's just very ska, very danceable and very very good. I'm sure you're unable to wail "whoah Geno!!" during this. A tribute to Geno Washington.

First Love- The Maccabees (actually torn between this and Latchmere, can you blame me!)

Reminds me so much of my teenage years. I love how delicate this song is, and also how indie and awkward it almost sounds too. It is quite awesome. "Are you cooooooool?" I nearly picked Latchmere and could have gone for Can You Give It, too. However, this was the first song I heard by the Maccabees and I still dance around like a lunatic when I hear it.

Hedonism (Just because you feel Good)- Skunk Anansie

There is atmosphere in this track and you can hear the different layers. There is an awesome bass, and an excellent chorus. It's a bitter song, "I wonder what you're doing now? I hope you're feeling happy now." It sounds almost sarcastic. Skin, singing, has such a wonderful voice. "Does laughter still discover you?" an intriguing lyric.

Farewell to the Fairground- White Lies

Of all the new(ish) bands, these are my favourite. Drums, an epic chorus, epic guitars and just proper rock. I saw these live and they blew me away!

Time- Pink Floyd

What can I say? I shan't say anything. This track speaks for itself.

Loneliness of the Tower Crane Driver- Elbow

This song is just so perfect. The chords, the lyrics, the rise and fall is just fantastic. Hairs always stand up when I hear this song, and it never tires. Wonderful live.

Pass it On- Coral

A track that means a lot to me. My Mum told me she thought of me when she heard this record, and now subsequently I think of her. Jingly jangly, and quite a quaint little ditty; it just is perfect. Just too short perhaps!

No One Knows- Queens of the Stone Age

Oh yes! You go from the quaint and quiet to the awesome epicness of this. I remember this track so well. It reminds me of being fourteen and without a clue of what the world would hold for me. I still don't.

Someday- The Strokes

This was when I had a rock phase. 'Is this It' was one of the first albums that I ever brought with my own money. This song is track five and it just lights up your radio player.

Don't Speak- No Doubt

I have to pick this record. I love Gwen Stefani, and thinking about it, she may well have been my first crush! This song is such a fab tune. Can't really say more than that!

House of the Rising Sun- The Animals

It's a track you forget about from time to time, because it is such a classic. But, my oh my, this is top class. Listen to this, at full pelt, in your car, in the bath, in your bedroom and you will be filled with joy. Eric Burdon's voice rattles along here, and I think that is what gives it such a definite edge. Also, the organ solo is the greatest ever organ solo that I can think of. Footstomper!

*presses stop*

Those are twenty four. If ever I end up on a desert island I want those tracks to be sent with an indefinite battery on a MP3 in a bottle to me. And some headphones or a loudyspeakery thing, but then I'd need mains power.

I digress! I must admit I could easily replace those with another twenty four!

Hope you enjoyed!

The sheep were cheering me on...

I think I should tell you a bit more about my training that I'm doing. (Warning: this may be a boring blog entry so I'm trying to make it sound really exciting!).

I've been given a training program to adhere to in order to improve my fitness, strength and conditioning in agreement with the England coaches at football. So, from time to time, I like to do something that is a bit different from the normal 5 a side!

On Tuesday evening I went hill running on a hill near Ivinghoe Beacon on the Beds/Bucks/Herts border. I've read articles online about how hill running can improve your speed and stamina in sport and I honestly believe that it does.

The hill (pictured) is as steep as it looks. It is like the travelator in Gladiators except fortunately the grass doesn't run towards you. By the way, I'm not wearing the Gladiators get-up (blue/red vest, helmet, mouth protector) while I'm doing this- just shorts, T-shirt, football socks and a good pair of trainers. The only thing that can injure me is the pesky rabbit warrens that are all over the side of the hill.

There is something inspiring in running up a hill too, its like you're the King of the Hill! It is also completely exhausting. You sprint to

the top, then walk back down, then sprint the top again! Its as simple as that! It up to you how many times you want to do it.

Also, there was absolutely no one about last night. I was running up and down the hill and the only eyes on me were the sheep in the farmers field. They were cheering me on.

I have another trick to pulling myself up the hill. As I'm listening to my iPod while running, I wait until there's a good bit in a song that I like. For example I waited forever until I started sprinting up the hill to the crescendo in The Chain by Fleetwood Mac! Sprinting up to a chorus or a guitar solo is the only way I can get to the top.

Quite appropriately "Road to Nowhere" by Talking Heads started playing, as did "Running Up that Hill" by Kate Bush. Perfect songs for the environment I was in.

The strange thing is, after you've sprinted up a hill a dozen times, then try and do more sprints, you just find it so difficult. My legs were like lead weights at the end.

I can move this morning, but muscles that you don't really use when running flat have been worked, like my gluteus maximus! (aka my bum muscles!). Also, I hope that I will be faster when sprinting on flat football pitches!

I was on the side of the hill for about an hour and fifteen minutes. The sheep did get bored (I could tell as they stopped clapping after a few runs), so I was so grateful to my iPod after a while to inspire me to sprint more!

Did I also tell you that its a fantastic way to get away from it all? I'd had a busy day at work, and that session was completely fantastic to forget about everything. There was also beautiful scenery and animals aplenty (hold on a second- I'm turning into Julie Andrews!)

I think I'd better leave it there! I'll post more training updates soon...

I don't want to go home.

I just don't want to go home.

You see, it's feeling less and less like home. I feel like an intruder to as place that I don't recognise any more. Home, the family home, isn't where I want to be any more. I can't wait to escape, and fly the nest.

It'll happen soon, but it can't happens soon enough.

My family has changed. Really changed. I can't recognise the family any more. The memories of my Mum are driving me mad. I'm almost claustophobic with grief when I go home. I feel her presence. She's there at all times, yet I turn around and she's not there.

There's a new person at home. Someone who I don't recognise, someone who I don't particularly like, someone who is just differnt from the last person. I don't want to do the same things as we did before.

I can't move on.

We're supposed to be having a barbecue at the weekend. Dad, my Sis, my Sis's boyfriend and Dad's girlfriend. I don't wish to attend. I won't attend. Yet, it is my home. The place where I'll be welcome to join and eat. I want to be as far away as possible from the joviality. This isn't normal behaviour is it?

I need to start again. A new place, a new me. It'll be worth it won't it?

For the time being, I'll continue avoiding any sort of family occasion.

Suggs live

I went to see Suggs on Sunday evening at the Milton Keynes Theatre. The lead singer of Madness (real name Graham McPherson) was performing a one man show in front of a half packed arena in Buckinghamshire.

Now, usually Suggsy is backed by six other members of the 80s band; but on this occasion he was backed solely by a pianist on a Grand Piano. This show was all about Suggs and the story of Madness. For any Madness fan, this was a must see. McPherson, wearing a smart grey suit, stood and talked about the rise and fall of the band and his life; he looked like he really enjoyed the night. He did occasionally forget his lines, but this was where he treated us to the One Step Beyond style dance while he got his composure back (akin to the famous album cover stance, right).

The thing that amazed me most was Suggsy's manner in which he addressed the audience and his ability to fill the stage entirely. He was always trying to keep moving, and of course your eye followed him. The audience were hanging onto every word that he said; and I was enraptured. I've heard stories of how Madness got together; but not from the lead singer of the band before. As a fan this was a real privilege.

It was a unique take on his life, how he tries to find his missing father, and without giving too much away, at times it was quite sentimental and emotional. There are various amusing anecdotes, like how the band fooled The Clash into thinking they were policemen, or the story about Madness causing a minor earthquake at their 1992 reunion. It is littered with stories and funny tales how the seven members of the band took on the world. Some stories are mad, (not Madness without a funny story!) and showcase how crazy it may have been in those days.

I must add it is interesting to note how Suggs quickly brushes over the unhappy times in his life. The final years of Madness post keyboardist Mike Barson's departure were only documented by a few words in this show.

It isn't Suggs without songs, and of course he delved into the back catalogue, singing stripped down versions of Baggy Trousers, Shut Up and It Must Be Love. There was also room for Lola and Cecilia, plus a wonderful take on See You Later Alligator (he did sing a version of this on the highly underrated film Take It Or Leave It). The songs were interspersed throughout the show, usually referencing what he was talking about.

A slight criticism from me would be that there wasn't enough songs. I would love to see him try a live version of a forgotten classic like Yesterday's Men or One Better Day with just a piano; as those tracks don't fit in Madness' live sets these days.

However with just the piano to accompany him, the tracks that you do get are quite something to take in. Usually at a Madness gig I'm usually bopping away, so to sit and relax and revel in the joy that these songs bring is absolutely fantastic.

I left the theatre thinking how much I actually idolised Suggs (and Madness) and how much of an impact they have had on me throughout my life. This is a top show, from a top man. Then again, I might be biased. Go and see it!