2008

Four years ago, I was involved with the hubbub and buzz and build up of the Paralympic Games. I represented Team GB at 7 a side football in Beijing, China. It remains one of my greatest achievements, and to be honest, nothing comes quite as close to matching that moment.
This year, unfortunately, after putting in dedicated hours and hours of training and playing I didn't make the cut for the final fifteen. That fifteen has been whittled down to twelve now. I am devastated.

Having spent years playing for my country, and putting everything into my training and iproving as a player, I was distraught when they told me I wouldn't be invited on the warm up trip to San Diego back in January.

I still hold the record for amount of appearances, and I am the longest serving member of the squad. I have been involved since 1999, and travelled to my first tournament in Argentina aged just sixteen. I pride myself of those facts.

The thing is, having been wrapped up and dedicated in my sport for so long, means that now I am out of it I don't know what to do with myself.

Do I keep on training? Yes. The drive to train has waned slightly. I do struggle to find the motivation. After all, what am I training for now?

There is one thing that keeps me going. The fact that at any time someone can get injured and suddenly you're drafted in. At the moment though, I feel sad, and upset that I wasn't picked. I worked so hard to be a part of it, but alas, it was all in vain.

This Summer; with the Olympic and Paralympic Games all over the television, it is going to be mightly hard to watch.